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Saturday, February 18, 2012

Shame shame (we know your name)

Last Sunday I tuned in to the Grammys hoping for a repeat of 2011's award ceremony. To be fair, 2011 set a pretty high bar for me. Aside from Lady Antebellum cleaning up for their Drunken Hick song, it was quality. Not only did Eminem and Dr. Dre perform together, but I learned of a fantastic new artist that frequently makes my blog, Mumford and Sons. That performance changed my life, no exaggeration. It opened my eyes to a world I'd never considered before.
They are, what we can in the business, a game changer. Folk music was always synonymous with a man I loathed, Bob Dylan. But even he isn't that bad anymore. I'm getting soft in my old age. But Mumford played a fantastic rendition of their song "The Cave." It was awesome, and combined with artists like Fleet Foxes and Bon Iver, inspired me to write the best music of my life. There were some other performances on the program that were alright, but nothing that made me vomit.

This year, I was hoping to hear another new artist that would wrinkle my brain. Sadly, the evening started out with Bruce fucking Springsteen. Chris Brown danced around and pretended to sing. Taylor Swift actually sang while holding a banjitar like she was in Green Day. It was
awful, seeming to mock the genre she was singing. The entire cast of her number, and they were definitely a cast, were dressed like extras in the musical Oklahoma. It made me angry. The new Foo Fighters is extremely boring, which is unfortunate as Dave Grohl has really great views on music...except that he wants to record his next album in space. Don't do drugs, kids. Foo Fighters killed in the Rock categories. That genre is dead. Nothing new under the sun. Bon Iver won some awards, including Best New Artist. Not really sure what defines a new artist, but Bon Iver has been around since 2007/2008. I wonder if the Grammys are perpetually behind the times. Another example is the fact that Adele cleaned house. I am thrilled by this for many reasons, but it all seems so after the fact. Adele has been on top of the charts for YEARS. And she is now planning to take a five year break from music. Great job Grammys. But she is one of the few authentic artists that played the evening and is a beacon of hope for keeping music real.

Also, Paul McCartney was a nice skidmark on the underpants of the Grammys.

Then there was Nicki Minaj. WORST. PIECE. OF. SHIT. EVER. I don't know what her story is and I don't care, but she is obviously a Cold War-like response to Lady Gaga. What? You're acting crazy and wear weird shit? I'm going to be even more bat-shit crazy! I believe that is exactly what happened in Nicki's head. There is one important difference betwixt them though; Lady Gaga can actually sing. Nicki Minaj blerts shit out. And it is God awful. If you want watch something completely void of musical integrity and horrible choreography, watch her Grammy performance. I'm sure it is very Youtubable.

All in all, it was a waste of my Sunday evening, but it did give me something to rant about. Oh, I may have accidentally bought the newest Coldplay album...mixed feelings.

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